Love Crxmes: Lady Killers

Image borrowed from Penguin

   It's hard to decide on a good place to begin when writing on the interactions of men and women… Thus I'll try to keep this strictly discussing the first steps of the natural pursuit of a man after a woman, and the most efficient way to receive a desirable outcome… Since the beginning of man, we have chased females to plant our seeds and leave our legacy via bloodline… With each cultures' ancestry often abiding much of its' lineages to forms of "royalty" and other such hierarchies… Though cultural norms have changed, as well as chivalric standards, one element that hasn't changed is that (most) men want a woman in their life!! I mention "most" men as it'd be naive of me not to recognize that homosexuality is a NATURAL part of our world… I'd assume that in the homosexual scene, whether men or women, the pursuit of a significant other is still part of any single's day-to-day life, and that many of these points stretch across both homo and heterosexual playing fields…

  A few years back, discussing women amongst peers, I was introduced to what my friend referred to as "The Man Bible," which turned out to be Neil Strauss' The Game… This revelation that other men had developed somewhat of a "science" to picking up women, was groundbreaking to me, and these men referred to themselves as "Pick-Up Artists" or "PUA's…" When going to buy a copy of that book, it led to me bringing home the sequel/companion book, Rules Of The Game… Diving headfirst into the world of Pick-Up, against the books' own instructions I finished the book that night… "Invigorated" would still be quite an understatement for describing the way I felt after taking in this publication… The next day I hit the scene and tried to be the Casanova that the previous nights' reading had convinced me I was capable of being!! That night, and MANY after, I went out solo, and subsequently went to bed solo…

It led me to swallowing my pride and seeking assistance in the online communities that the PUAs I had read about, had set up for "Average Frustrated Chumps" or "AFCs" like myself… This is where I had initially thought my mind was truly expanded to the knowledge and potential power available to myself and others… But in short, the online forums suggested to me were full of bravado and braggadocio by those gentlemen hoping to gain some sort of fame or notoriety from their sexual exploits they view as milestones or some sort of monumental conquests… While a select few may have had remarkable breakthroughs in both their love and sex lives, most of the threads I was finding myself in, were absolute bullshit… It took me longer than it should have to turn to YouTube, but when I did, that's when things really changed… 

  Again I found the same bullshit that I had previously found on the forums, but to a lesser extent, as anonymous irrelevance is much easier detected and weeded out with YouTube… Then it occurred, I stumbled upon the "Under 21 Convention" and came to the realization that it's the AFC's equivalent to "TED Talks," and that a great wealth of knowledge is occurring at these conventions… Not being able to save myself from the rabbit hole, I logged hours upon hours - Then I found my Holy Grail in the form of "Chuck Manslag…" Shortly after this revelation, I then realized he was also known in the "community" under the name of "Sasha Daygame" and his message was pure… The first thing he drove home was to forget everything I had ever tried to learn about picking up women, that any routine or spiel I had previously tried was hindering me more than it was hurting me… That women don't give a fuck about my little story, that they give a fuck about how much of a MAN I was… That women had been taking into account my eye contact, posture, smile and sincerity, as opposed to how interesting my rehearsed lines APPEARED to be…

More On Sasha Daygame

  Simply put, the message was to "Man up!!" And do so not by accomplishing a laundry list of preconceived notions of how your life should be… For instance, you don't need to be a millionaire dressed in a $800 three-piece, while driving a foreign vehicle with Fendi interior... But accomplish this by stripping yourself of all judgments and fears, and letting your HONEST self fully enjoy every moment life has to offer you, and take progressive steps in becoming a better person on the whole… Then, in doing so, the person you are in THAT AND EVERY moment thereafter will be able to accomplish anything you put your mind to, including the task of meeting the partner of your dreams…

  That's just the easy part though, because in accomplishing the task of meeting the person of your dreams, you must then have the tenacity to further develop that relationship and KEEP that person… And guess what, if you start off a potential relationship with any amount of delusion to the person you really are, it's unfair to each party involved… It's unfair to you because you dilute your actual self, and to exhibit any sort of practices or appearances that don't truly align with your most essential self is a misrepresentation… That misrepresentation is belittling to the amazing individual that you are at your core… It's unfair to the desired individual because they're being put in the position to make decisions based on that misrepresentation, which is essentially a waste of time… It's a waste because there's a chance they'll not enjoy the person you tried to represent yourself as, thus your true self didn't get a chance to shine, essentially wasting your time… On the other hand, the initially desired individual may actually enjoy the person being represented and would enjoy investing more time into the interaction; which could possibly lead to a relationship… If that occurs, you've again wasted time because now you must go through the disgustingly horrible practice of trying to reveal your true self to that person without them losing interest… If you're at that specific juncture in a relationship, hope is not lost, but you'll probably soon be stumbling upon the realization that repairing a relationship built upon fallacy is infinitely more difficult than creating one based on sincerity and candor...

  It's cliché as sin, but it's probably one of the most underrated practices of Western civilization, thus worthy of making note of - Fewer and fewer people have taken the time to take a step back from "life" and find out who they truly are… That when you strip yourself of cancerous mindsets and become relieved of your superego, that your left with reality and your place in it… Though difficult to undo and essentially un-become everything you were, it's a task with a reward far greater than any amount of explanation could ever encompass… Never forget, "The Matrix can't tell you who you are…" (Whoooooaaaaa…)

Check The #TheseThingsMatter Podcast!!

  In addition to the sources I mentioned previously, there's also a commendable podcast available, "These Things Matter (SINGLEandCOMMITTED…)" Its' hosts, Fresh and Chioke, engage in unfiltered discussions involving the various topics of love and dating… Offering insight and advice to every tier of the relationship hierarchy, as well as useful knowledge in regards to bettering one's self… So if you're looking for engaging, knowledgable, straight to the point dialogue, containing practical information that can be applied to real life scenarios, that's your destination!!

  In closing, there's much still to be discussed, but becoming a better you is easily the first step in finding true love… And in realizing that it's a never-ending journey to become your best self, that mindset will transfer over to both personal and intimate relationships, and your hard work will lead you to your best result… Will you ALWAYS make the best choices in partners?? Probably not, but in those instances the onus is on you to know how to walk away with lessons learned and a head held high… Relationships are not easy, and I wish those reading the best of luck!! BUT - I do suggest complete honesty and fairness to both yourself and your partner… Ya know, "for best results" and all that type of shit…